- bottom line? it f*cking sucks -
Dating has always been something I am either 100% committed to or I want nothing to do with; there is no in-between. I’m sure most of you can agree with that given how much dating has changed in the past 10 years. Social dating apps have taken over and *low-key* stomped out chivalry and romance along the way. That’s a big statement. I know. But am I wrong?
Social media has given us “sliding into DM’s” and dudes freaking out because you liked someone's post. Snapchat has paved the way for people being able to see if you’re the person they snap the most #bestfriend. It also lets you send photos without the fear of it being kept (screenshots are for jerks). Does that sound romantic to you? I miss the day that someone would have the balls to come over and say something like, “yo girl. you cute. Let us go grab a drink/dinner,” or some sh*t like that.
Jennifer Lopez was on The Tonight Show recently and talked about how she missed Rom-coms and why they need to come back. JLO is completely right! We need to be reminded what it’s like to not flirt through our phones. I dare you to go to a bar this weekend and see how many guys and girls are texting into their phones. My guess is that they will either be swiping right in hopes that someone is desperate enough to go home with them, or they flirt through the phone with someone they know is out - but not with them. Dating can be hard. Period. So here’s what I have learned in this new dating world.
First of all, ladies, Tinder is no longer the place to be. Unless you want to hook-up then go ahead! There are so many apps out there nowadays it's hard to keep up: Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn etc. (the list goes on and on). Dating, in general, has become a swimming pond of apps and we're just here reeling in the bait. Which leads to men sending unwanted photos (*insert eggplant emoji*), fear of commitment, and the potential of being catfished (fake profiles & old people pretending to be young).
However, apps like Bumble and Hinge do bring hope back into the dating world regardless of the handful of bad seeds in the internet realm. It makes the world smaller & meeting someone so much easier (especially for those who don't like to hang out in bars hoping to meet "the one"). Overall, we all want that wedding planner or maid in manhattan kind of romance, but we have forgotten that dating, in general, is just the stepping stones to finding that romance! We forget that those women in these movies are fiercely independent and the love of their life falls into their life!
Being an independent woman is the sexiest thing ever. You make your own decisions, you don’t need a man to lean on, and your friends become a top priority. I have a few friends that are serial daters, because for whatever reason they need a man. I have a theory that it’s due to our social media dependency and the need to not feel lonely. Which leads to another point on making dating suck less: get used to being lonely. If you can't be alone, then you need to try it. It will help you learn more about yourself than you could EVER imagine. Learning to enjoy “me time” will also force you to learn to do things by yourself. Scary as that sounds, it's also very freeing!
The next step is to NOT settle for the first good guy/ girl you date. We all know someone that has been single for a little bit, goes on one date, and decides he’s the one. I have a few of those friends and although I love them to pieces they miss out on so much! Getting to know all sorts of men/ women will help you learn what you can and can't have in a relationship. It will also make you more connections! On top of all that, if that first guy/ girl is *the one* then keep him/her around. And while you date other people you can decide if you’re 100% sure you want to date them and only them (#commitment). Another thing that is key, is to just be yourself. You know yourself better than anyone else. So if that means rocking some 12th Tribe Thrasher shorts with a vintage tee to grab coffee with a guy - do it! If it means you want to get dressed up - then do it! Never change your style or who you are to fit the mold for a guy. Life is too short and our makeup is way too expensive for that shit. So here’s my challenge to all my blog babes reading this. I dare you to live your most authentic life. Date as many people as you can! Get to know all the people in this crazy world! Life is too short to settle, and our standards are too high to give up on finding our Mister right.
- Addyson Riddle